Chapter 16: Caspian

After my dad, Leopold Lyons, there were two men I looked up to most.

The first was my big brother, Anders Lyons.

He was sooo good at being a butler–I really hoped I’d be just as good as him someday, even if I’d probablyyy always be naturally messy. But he didn’t mind the mess as long as it stayed on my side of the room.

Dad didn’t know, but Anders didn’t really want to be a butler. His side of the room was covered in science textbooks and medical stuff–Malpractice was his favorite TV show.

“You should tell Dad,” I insisted. “He’d sooo understand, especially if you tell Mom first.”

“I’m the eldest Lyons son,” Anders said. “The responsibility of taking over the Lyons Butler Academy will eventually fall to me.” He paused. “And I was named after Lysander Lyons, the greatest butler to have ever lived. It would be doubly disappointing for Father…”

I wouldn’t tell if he didn’t want to–Lyons brother loyalty.

The second man I looked up to most was Hamlet Richardson.

Mom binged an old show called Young, Haught and Rich with me when I was a kid, and Hamlet Richardson played Harrington Haught, one of the three teenage stars.

Mom was a huge fan of Roland Rich, played by Rhys Straud, but I sooo would’ve been a Haughthead if I’d been born when it aired.

I was waaay too scared to ever talk to him when he was on the set of Winner is Served with Dad, Uncle Benny, and Uncle Finn, but I watched every single thing he was ever in. I didn’t get to see Baguettes in Summer until I was a teenager, but I watched it sooo many times I could recite the entire thing by heart…

It was the first movie I’d ever seen with two men being so in love…and doing things together. A lot of things.

Things that inspired really really vivid dreams about Hamlet Richardson

Things that made me want to go over to Ellie’s house whenever I could and accidentallyyyy walk into her dad’s room when I was looking for the bathroom.

I spent a loooot of time checking myself out in the mirror before getting ready to go swimming at Ellie’s house.

Would Hamlet Richardson be there? (If Ellie was there, he almost alwaysss was.) Would he talk to me? Could I think of a reason to talk to him?

Did he know…?

Maybe he thought I was just really really into yoga?

Really really really into it?

But Ellie wasn’t fooled…

Anders was always talking about how she was smart and pretty, even if I didn’t understand why someone so smart needed him to do her homework. I also didn’t understand why he liked Ellie that much when she wasn’t very nice to him. Did that make me a bad brother for going over to her house as much as possible anyway?

But I was Hamlet Richardson’s number one fan…

It was his old interviews (I read and watched allll of them) that ultimately made me decide to come out to my parents.

Hamlet Richardson was closeted for sooo long since he was a major teen heartthrob on a big network TV show, but he talked about what a relief it was when that show ended and he didn’t have to hide anymore.

I’d gotten my long hair cut when I was a kid because so many other kids called me a girl or asked if I was gay. But what was wrong with being gay? I asked the same question of my parents when I came out…

“Nothing at all, son,” Dad said. “Benedict seems far happier and more dedicated to the butler arts after marrying your uncle Finn. Like him, you’re a Lyons no matter what–and we love you dearly, regardless of whom you love.”

“Ooooh, I always wanted a gay son,” Mom said. Neither one of them seemed surprised when I told them, so maybe they already knew, the same way Anders had. “But I’m just glad you’re our son, Cassie-pie. Thank you for trusting us, and know that we’re always here for you.”

I was sooo lucky to have parents like them…

“Ready for the parade?” Mom asked the next time one was in town.

I had a feeling she really did know I was gay for years, and hadn’t just bought all those things and left them lying around the house and restaurant because she “really really loves rainbows.”

And I stopped pretending that I hated going shopping with her, the way most guys my age hated having to go shopping with their moms.

But I was still too afraid to admit that I had similar tastes as my mom–I liked the flower headbands and colorful bracelets she picked up and called cute. Maybe I’d grow out my hair again when I was done with high school…

It was actually Dad who suggested I talk to Uncle Benny if I ever had questions or wanted to talk about things I wasn’t comfortable talking about with anyone else.

Uncle Benny and Uncle Finn were tied for third–not including my dad in the permanent first spot–in the list of men I respected most. They were a huge part of the reason I felt comfortable telling my parents too, since Dad and Uncle Benny seemed to get along fine, and if he wasn’t upset with his brother, he wouldn’t be upset with me, would he?

“I kept it a secret for far longer than I should’ve–and felt incredibly angry and alone,” Uncle Benny said to me during one of our talks. He was sooo nice to let me come over and ask him questions whenever I wanted. “I’m glad you didn’t follow in your uncle’s footsteps.”

“Me too,” I said. “When did you start wondering if you could be gay?” Uncle Finn was happy to answer questions too, but it was a little different for him since he was bi.

“I…I unexpectedly fell in love with a handsome, charming butler when I was roughly your age. He wasn’t real, and I didn’t want to admit it, but…he was everything I thought I wanted, until Finn showed me otherwise.”

“Sooo it’s sort of the same with me and Hamlet Richardson, except he just wears a butler uniform on TV…”

“…Come again?”

He changed the subject, but we still had lots more to talk about.

I had the best family…

Which is why I wanted to support Anders when he told me Ellie invited him up to her room. We were brothers suffering from unrequited love, but maybe Ellie had finallyyyy realized how amazing Anders was.

So I just played the lookout by the pool, even though Ellie’s dad wouldn’t be home for hours. I still brought over an assortment of dishes that me and Mom made for him. (She felt bad for him because he was an “eternal bachelor,” or as Ellie put it, “forever-alone.”)

I liked to imagine our arms brushing against each other until we were accidentally holding hands… (I wasn’t that much younger than him in vampire-years, right?)

And when he got home early, we kind of did hold hands for one and a half seconds…!

I was never washing this hand for the rest of my life. “Mom made too much food again,” I said, smiling weirdly. “Well, I helped…! And it’ll allll go bad if nobody eats it.”

“Caspian,” he said gently, “I really can’t eat like that and still fit into the show’s butler uniform, but I appreciate the thought. Where’s Ellie?”

He always asked about her before anyone or anything else–he was like Anders that way.

I couldn’t tell him what I thought she might actually be doing. “I think she’s…playing Voidcritters?”

“With Lani? She’s a good kid.”

“I mean, it could be Lani?” Did my voice sound higher than normal? “Or maybe somebody else? Or maybe nobody at all? Voidcritters can also be enjoyed solo…!”

“…I’ll check on her.”

“Don’t you want something to eat first…?” I asked, trying to stay calm. Maybe Ellie really was just playing Voidcritters with Anders. “The cheeseburger is grass-fed beef, and Mom tried a new icing for the carrot cake…”

“I’ll ask if El wants anything. I missed her today.” He started walking away before I could think of another reason to stop him.

I really should’ve tried harder…

(Is it bad I was thinking about how firm his muscles were for a man my parents’ age…?)

But seeing him go after my big brother when he was already down…it made me respect him less. I wasn’t sure if he was even in my top five anymore, or even my top hundred…

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Anders said, wincing. “It–it wasn’t very appropriate for a Lyons butler…”

“I don’t care about what’s appropriate, Anders,” I said. “I care about my big brother. Are you hurt?”

He tried to smile. “I’m a vampire. This is nothing.”

We both went home with heavy hearts–one beating, and one not. I was glad we shared a room then, because at least neither of us had to feel completely alone.

My heart felt like lead in my chest, but I could tell it was even worse for Anders, even if I wasn’t sure why.

“Can I get you something?” I asked. “Mom just made a new batch of plasmafruit chocolates…”

He didn’t answer, but I could tell he wouldn’t mind if I sat down next to him. Mom always knew when we wanted her to try to make us feel better and when we wanted to be alone–hopefully I knew, too.

“…Did I really take advantage of her?”

“She invited you, didn’t she? She wanted you to…” To do all the things I thought about Hamlet Richardson doing with me, except probably with less butt stuff.

“I know she doesn’t like me,” he said hoarsely. “The entire world knows, including Mr. Richardson. I thought if–if maybe I made her feel good, if I did everything she asked… But I knew, Caspian, I knew she never would. Mr. Richardson wasn’t wrong about me pressuring her until I finally got what I wanted…”

Ellie might’ve been Hamlet Richardson’s daughter, and I could understand why he’d want to protect her, but Anders was my brother. And now I was disappointed in Ellie too, because she always got Anders to do exactly what she wanted. He never would’ve pushed her, no matter how much he liked her.

But I wouldn’t say anything bad about her to my big brother.

I just hoped he’d realize that Ellie wasn’t right for him, the way I knew deep down that Hamlet Richardson wasn’t right for me…

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27 thoughts on “Chapter 16: Caspian

  1. Missing from this chapter: Caspian text spam with copious amounts of emojis.

    Ahh, I love Anders and Caspian! And I love that they get along and share and support each other (it’s the extra love DNA that Daisy injected into the bloodline ofc); you can’t be a nasty snarler with Daisy for a mom, this is not possible ok.

    It struck me that Caspian is able to be so open about who he his with everyone in his life, (including his currently on-hold crush on Hamlet Richardson), while Anders has to hide things about himself and repress his desires out of fear of disappointing his father IS SAD.

    I also love that Hamlet’s chops are censored by voidcritters in Caspian’s fantasies, lololololol.

    Are we surprised that Daisy is the best gay-ally mom EVER? NO WE ARE NOT. ❤ ❤ ❤
    Daisy, I thought I couldn't love you more, but you just proved me wrong! Would you come be my mom plz? I mean, we're probably the same age, but I think we could make it work ❤

    LOL at Benny being all O.O over Hamlet Richardson crush, omg, haaa!
    Caspian is too pure and obvious to be a lookout; he lacks the natural slyness needed for the position, drat!

    Aww, sweetie! Look at you, standing by your bro! I just want to give him a massive hug and tell him he's the best boi and has his priorities in order etc ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh man, Caspian’s texts are probably a thing to behold. 😉

      No way could Daisy raise a hateful kid, just not possible. No wonder Anders and Caspian are so close. ❤ And Leopold probably encouraged them too, since it was always one of his regrets that he and Benny had such a strained relationship. Luckily, that's much better now.

      If Caspian is right, Anders is putting way more pressure on himself than he needs to. Anders undoubtedly heard a lot about Lysander growing up, but that doesn't need he has to suppress his own desires in an attempt to emulate him.

      VOIDCRITTER CENSORSHIP, I've had some fun with this censorship this gen, the next one makes me laugh, you’ll know it when you see it.

      I want Daisy to adopt me too. 😭 Then we can be sisters! Well, as if we weren’t already, right.

      Caspian’s crush short-circuited poor Benny, LOL. And he is not a great lookout. Sly would’ve made a better one, because he’s so sly. Allegedly.

      ❤ ❤ So happy you like Caspian!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Dang Caspian, you ruined it all for your sorta-friend. Uh…your stepdaughter. 👀

    You can tell that I want this to happen.

    Anyways how can I possibly love Daisy more than I already did? Mum of the year from now til ?????

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Omg this child ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ He’s so much like his mother! I just love how pure and genuinely sweet he is.

    And he’s so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive family. The talks with Benny are so sweet, I was so proud that he was brave enough to come out to his parents (who reacted with so much love and understanding!). And Daisy getting all into Pride… she’s an amazing mother ❤️

    I love his relationship with Anders too. ❤️ It was interesting to learn that his big brother doesn’t really want to be a butler. He should take a page out of Caspian’s book and be honest with his parents!

    It was interesting to see the lead-up to Ham walking in on Ellie and Anders… it probably felt like some kind of huge setup (with Caspian acting as the distraction). Which I guess kinda WAS the case, but it just makes the whole situation look even worse to him!

    I understand Ham dropping off Caspian’s respect list for sure… he’s a good kid and will stick by his brother. But I still have a lot of pity for Hamlet. Like Caspian (and Daisy, apparently! Haha) pointed out, he’s just so lonely. And clearly it’s manifested itself as an unhealthy feeling of attachment toward his daughter. It’s really sad. 😭

    And of course I feel sad for Anders too. 😦 But I hope he can use this as a lesson that there is someone better out there for him who will really like him and want him!

    And then Caspian… having to watch his brother be hurt and see his crush pushed off that pedestal. 😢 It’s okay bby ❤️ Probably best to find someone more age-appropriate anyway 😉

    Sorry for the novel! Lol

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Like his mom, Caspian just wants everyone to be happy~

      And Benny’s rough journey last gen actually smoothed the path for his nephew. Not that Daisy and Leopold would’ve acted badly, but at least it was nothing out of the ordinary for Leo and Caspian could see that Benny and Finn were still a beloved part of the family.

      I think some people were expecting a competitive relationship between Anders and Caspian, but they’re both pretty sweet-natured dudes. Anders really should be honest, though, even if he fears disappointing their dad.

      As for Hamlet, he would’ve been far less protective of Ellie if he thought that Anders was someone she wanted her first time to be with. Ellie is very outspoken (to put it mildly), and she’s made no secret of her feelings toward Anders over the years, especially since even Lani can pick up on them. So for Hamlet to suddenly see her in bed with Anders, he’s going to make certain (incorrect) assumptions…and that’s why he went after Leopold too, for defending his son who Hamlet could only see as a monster.

      Anders is such a good dude though, there has to be someone better out there for him! And Caspian would be better off finding someone more age-appropriate, it’s true.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Yeah, that makes sense that he’d be even more upset since it was Anders. And I feel like Caspian as lookout adds this extra appearance of “this is something nefarious that we want to cover up”. The whole thing must have looked really, really bad to him. I just wish he’d listened to Ellie at the very least before he stormed off and went after Leopold too. Oh well 😦

        And on a lighter note… yes! Two very sweet boys there ❤️ I’m looking forward to more of their dynamic eventually! So far they seem to have one of the healthiest sibling relationships we’ve seen in Fangs. I hope it stays that way!

        Protect these pure children 😭❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, Caspian as lookout/trying to distract Hamlet absolutely seemed shady. Even Caspian himself had misgivings, but between his love of his brother and his hopes of spending more time with Hamlet Richardson… Very bad judgment call.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Aww…Caspian’s big crush did a no no…and disappointed him. 😭

    I love how Caspian is such a loving brother. They have such a great relationship even though they are basically opposites. Lol, Daisy had her Pride stuff all ready! What a great mom!

    And Anders doesn’t want to be a butler. 😦 But Maybe Caspian does? A big gay butler like his uncle!

    That was awkward when Caspian told Benny about his crush but he handled it well.

    And Caspian’s Dreams…heh…😏 Hamlet looks pretty good posing on that bed. 😍 Too bad he lost his marbles when he saw Ellie and Anders going at it.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. In a way, maybe it was a good thing Caspian became so disillusioned with Hamlet. Now he can move on and enjoy his teenage years instead of pining for something that won’t happen.

      Daisy probably has a closet full of Pride stuff. And Leo had to organize it so it’d all fit. 😉 Sometimes opposite siblings just don’t get along…but not Anders and Caspian! ❤

      Caspian definitely likes butler stuff way more than his brother (especially the uniforms, like Uncle Benny~).

      Benny just skipped over his nephew's crush completely, LOL. And damn, maybe I should've tossed a lobster thermidor rating on this chapter, whoops. Even if it'd just be one!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I expected no less from Daisy to be so giddy to take her son to a Pride Parade. Mother of the year! I think I’m in love with Caspian. He’s a lot like his mother, but with less energy. And poor Anders, feeling forced into the family business and he can’t even get the girl of his dreams. At least he has his brother to lean on. I admire their closeness and willingness to do anything for each other. I’m so happy to see how well adjusted Daisy and Leo’s kids are, especially since they were the most normal couple in Gen 2 and one of my favorites. (Who am I kidding, they were all my favorites!)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. ❤ ❤ Daisy is soooo excited to take Caspian to a Pride parade, rofl. And that's a good description of Caspian–like Daisy but with less energy. He's able to rein himself in better, even when he gets excited over Hamlet Richardson. Well, used to, anyway!

      Awww, it made me so happy that Leo and Daisy were one of your favorites, especially since they were so lowkey compared to a lot of the others, LOL. But like Saul and Daya, it meant a very normal, pleasant family life for their kids!

      Liked by 3 people

  6. Caspian!❤️❤️❤️ He’s such a sweet brother. I love that he and Anders get along so well. They are the perfect opposites. Anders is soooo cute.

    I am seriously happy that Caspian is now ‘over’ Hamlet. That was not a healthy obsession. But so glad he got to talk to Benny. It’s intersting, I would think Finn would be the approachable one. I hope that maybe Anders is over Ellie – or is he? And I also,help eh tells hismparents he doesn’t want to be a butler. Leo will be okay with it I’m sure. Daisy will for sure, she supports whatever they want.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ❤ I love Caspian and Anders, especially together. I think this is the first pair of well-adjusted, close brothers I've written…? LOL.

      Probably not the best thing to crush on your friends' parents. 😬 Caspian and Anders need to move on to crushes that aren't one-sided. As for Finn vs. Benny, Caspian has gotten along with Uncle Benny since he was a kid, so he was approachable enough for him. Caspian isn't really afraid of people in general.

      Anders probably isn't over Ellie just yet, sadly. 😦 He feels a lot of guilt. But hopefully his feelings–and his worries over his true aspirations–fade with time…

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh , so sad. It’s sad he no longer idolizes Ham, but maybe when he works through the disappointment , he can see how similar Ham’s defense of family is to his own. I also hope Ellie doesn’t let his brother suffer guilt for too long .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is pretty sad. 😦 And it’ll probably take a bit of time for everyone involved to really understand the different perspectives. It’d really help if Ellie talked to Anders too, but right now she seems content to avoid him completely…

      Like

      1. She’s a fish out of water, so it’ll probably take a while before she feels comfortable enough with who she really is and where she really belongs to be able to drop her pretty formidable defenses and be honest with anyone besides her bestie.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my gosh, I found this chapter beyond adorable. Cas is like a mix between Daisy and Byron–funny and optimistic, but sweet and naive in his own way too. I think his crush on Hamlet is super cute! Obviously Ham is an adult and doesn’t see him that way, but Caspian is a teen, damn it. Teens don’t think with their brains. “Young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes.” Yeah, “eyes.” Sure, Friar Lawrence. 😉

    But it did make me sad that his illusion was shattered the way that it was. They say to never meet your heroes, and I’m thinking reasons just like that are why. I definitely get Hamlet’s reasoning (because I can guarantee I would kick ass for my pretend daughter too!), but Cas is right, continuing to kick him when he’s down is just wrong.

    The way you portray teen “fantasies” is very accurate, my pinchy friend! Kids will be kids. It doesn’t matter what the age difference, gender, or even species are–teen crushes are intense in all forms!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww, thanks. ❤ Ha, I guess Caspian is related to Byron too! (His…great-uncle? DON’T QUOTE ME ON THAT.) And yeah, Hamlet sees him as a kid–he also referred to Lani as one–but Caspian’s a very hormonal teen, LOL.

      I used the “don’t meet your heroes” line in my thread! Especially when you’re crushing on your heroes, ouch. Hamlet absolutely shouldn’t have attacked a teenager, especially one on the ground, but he genuinely thought he pressured Ellie. Of course, the truth will come out later.

      Liked by 1 person

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