Chapter 27: Count von Batstein III

Count von Batstein III’s latest form was not without its own set of enviable strengths and devastating weaknesses.

I was granted far more mobility than Count von Batstein I, and greater maneuverability outside of aquatic prisons than Count von Batstein II. Unfortunately, as every great evil mastermind is forever doomed to suffer, I was surrounded by idiots.

I refused to believe that this flea-bitten worm was a “hellhound” and not an overgrown bat who met the wrong end of dark, terrible magicks.

The vampires, too, were no more useful than my canine brethren. Could she understand none of my revelatory musings? None of my evil plans that would restore me to glory?

If not for certain of her…assets, I would destroy her without hesitation.

No, I required a new minion, one who would serve Count von Batstein III to the best of their meager abilities.

The ever-changing, cruel tides of fate at last turned in my favor when I was reunited with my most loyal minion of all.

With whatever traces of my power remained, I commanded her to choose me above the imbeciles that surrounded us, binding her malleable will to her all-knowing dark master’s once more.

Ignore them. Can you not see how they drool, how they voice no objections to the ridiculous costumes those imbecile vampires subject them to?

Swear your allegiance to Count von Batstein III, the one with the fluffiest tail, cutest ears, and sharpest wits, and you will be rewarded.

Yes, she would obey me, as she always had.

As I soon discovered, this form possessed strengths for which many of the greatest warlocks would sacrifice their beloveds (or mothers) without a moment’s hesitation.

Yes, a great many strengths.

But I was also faced with my two greatest nemeses: the roaring pool of concentrated evil…

And the one who would be party to Count von Batstein III’s total annihilation…

But even the most loyal of minions desired minions of their own.

I took many pains to show this worm precisely whose property this minion was.

“Should he be doing that, O…?” the worm questioned her, as I exerted my dominance.


“He’s so cute in a dark, evil sort of way, isn’t he? He thinks my leg is his true love…” said my minion. And soon I was cradled against her soft, pillowy flesh, so evocative of her magnificent mother’s…

“Batty, you smell,” she said. “You need a B-A-T-H. Who’s a dirty boy?”

Count von Batstein III is a very dirty boy.

But the worm was dirtier, to soil her pale flesh with his hands that stank of death…and not in the way of an all-powerful warlock’s.


However, when my minion exerted dominance over hers by mounting him before the expansive sight of our joined portraits, I approved. Let him know whose hold on her reigned above all others…

And at the end of the night, it was Count von Batstein III who shared her bed, his fur warming her soft, lithe body beneath the covers.

Yes, there were worse corporeal prisons to be bound to…

But I couldn’t let her fleshy delights distract me from my true mission: the destruction of the queen of light. On rare occasions, I caught her scent on the wind, this key to my freedom…

And then, after weeks of inadequate progress, the scent filled my adorable (yet undeniably evil) doggy nostrils.

Stop, I commanded my minion.

“Batty, do you have to go potty?”

No, I must mark this place with a powerful stream of darkness, you imbecile.

And then I was accosted by a great hairy, drooling beast.

Another one of the queen of light’s minions? Her influence remained vast, even now…

And then it dared challenge me–me, Count von Batstein III.

But I would not submit, no matter my present size and limited power.

“Poor Batty,” said my minion, after she extracted me from the situation and returned me to my lair. “Was that bigger dog mean to you?”

Yes, I told her. Now make it up to me, minion.

And she did.

Yes, this form would suit Count von Batstein III–for a time…

19 thoughts on “Chapter 27: Count von Batstein III

  1. “Count von Batstein III is a very dirty boy.“ 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

    I’m glad Bae has come to accept his adorable new form. He’s so wonderfully dramatic and hysterical as ever. And quite the little voyeur 😉

    HGRxOphelia’s Leg 4 Lyf ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The true OTP~ No one else can compare.

      It’s a pretty fun form, and he gets spoiled! …And a dog’s eye view of other things. LOL.

      But man pets in this game get dirty FAST. He and Primrose are always covered in filth.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. CVB…lol. This chapter made me laugh throughout. His LOOKS!!! So perfect.

    When he was exerting dominence over her leg and Finn was wondering if he should be doing that…😂

    Naughty indeed…😏

    And darn he found Lyanna but thankfully, Orlando is there to protect.

    Will there be a showdown between CVB and Orlando? I hope so! I want to see magical sparks fly!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL, hats off to the animators, the pet faces are incredible. So many naturally evil faces…or maybe it’s the way I made CvB? Hmmm.

      I’m still hoping for actual leg-humping poses. I know that’s a really weird thing to hope for, but nobody can stop me. 😈

      What if CvB tears out Orlando’s throat?!


  3. I’m dying 😂 I’ve been wondering about how he’s utilizing his small doggy form. Of course he’s using it to… Exert dominance… 😂 He’s so perfect, I love his little doggo face ❤️❤️❤️

    I really wanna see how successful he becomes… Or not. Anyway, I’m rooting for him LOL.

    Also my blind ass probably unfollowed and followed you like 3 times just now ’cause I can’t see where the star is on reader smh
    This is what I get for losing my glasses and having my fat fingers aa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ROFL, I was wondering about the refollowing thing, but I know that mobile can be a bitch! (Just like Ophelia’s leg, apparently.)

      His face cracks me up. He always looks like he’s plotting something. I forgive you for rooting for Lyanna’s doom. 😉

      HGR will forever exert his dominance~

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve really enjoyed these 27 chapters! I laughed quite a bit! I loved getting to know this gen of crazy characters. I haven’t got a favorite yet (they’re all so hilarious and layered), but I’ll keep my eyes open! I can’t wait for more! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for writing this chapter! It was really fun to read. I wonder if HGR will ever become human again – I wouldn’t mind seeing his backside again. ❤ Maybe he could help O to finally become a vampire in exchange for her loyal service? Anyway, he seems to grow quite fond of her.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for enjoying it!! And hmm, as cute as he is, it’d be a shame not to see that backside ever again, huh? (It even has its own fan club.)

      And Ophelia does like making dark pacts…


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