Chapter 1: Byron

You can call me Byron, comedian extraordinaire. Back in my rebellious early 200s, I tried to convince people to call me Barry. Yeah, two hundreds, not twenties. I’m a vampire, see. I’ll be three hundred a week from tomorrow, but I feel like I’m not where I should be at my age, you know? Living (okay, unliving—vampire, remember) with my older sister in a dusty old estate wasn’t where I thought I’d be at this point in my unlife.

I’m a Blackwell. Says so right on the mailbox shaped like a miniature hearse in our front yard—well, it did before it got hit by an actual hearse. Forgotten Hollow, am I right? Ha ha ha…

Well, maybe that’s not so funny if you don’t actually live in Forgotten Hollow. Unlive. I’m trying to work on my jokes, see, but my sister says I’m hopeless. She says everything’s hopeless, though—she’s got that typical gloomy, vampire heiress personality. That might just because she’s single and almost four hund—ow ow ow, I take it back, and not because I felt the piercing fury of a thousand tiny bat fangs just by thinking about her. She says she put some kinda vampire mind-spell on me the other day after I said something to embarrass her (this happens a lot), but I’m not sure if it’s real or just in my head.

She claims she’s only single on account of the “Blackwell family curse” anyhow. I’m still kind of fuzzy on the specifics, but I still catch her browsing human dating sites on the phone she thinks I don’t know about. Modern technology isn’t vampire-friendly, she says—we’re not supposed to be connected to the rest of the world. Food is food and that’s that. Maybe she’s just trying to guess at those shirtless male mortals’ blood types, but she really likes to zoom in on their—ow ow ow.

Where are our parents, you ask? Huh, that’s a good question—and one my sister’d be better able to answer. Victims of the Blackwell family curse, she’d say. But everybody’s got parents at one point or another—even vampires. I like to think they ran off to sail the world and escape the depressing shadows of Forgotten Hollow, but they’d probably burn to a crisp in the process. The whole vampire thing, remember.

Well, I don’t know about my sister, but I’m not sticking around this place forever. I just need to hit it big, you know? (Got to be able to afford the rent in San Myshuno somehow.) And when all those living, breathing mortals out there get a load of my jokes, how can I not be instantly famous and adored? Who knows, maybe someday I’ll meet somebody with a nice, sunny personality, too—I don’t want to end up four hundred and alone like my s—ow ow ow…

I’d settle for a living, breathing audience in general—no offense to my current assortment of toy robots, stuffed animals, and action figures. Guess now is as good a time to try as any, huh? After all, I’ve got all of eternity…!

39 thoughts on “Chapter 1: Byron

      1. Totally enjoying it so far. I love the humorous take on everything. Refreshing change from the more taking itself seriously fiction I read (and write).


  1. Finally starting your story! I love Byron already… Definitely worthy of befriending Juniper 😉 Excited to read more! (I don’t think I have it in me to binge the whole thing at once, but I’m hoping to get a little chunk out of the way. Prepare for some comment-spam 😛 )

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    1. Fancy seeing you here!! I’m so happy you decided to take a peek, but definitely don’t feel pressured to binge, LOL! It’s at least a novel’s worth of words by now, albeit a relatively short one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ll do a mini-binge for now! 😛 I’m really enjoying it! 😀 (And I will not tell you how long A2A is so I don’t scare you away from continuing reading it… hehehe)

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      2. Oooh, I’m so glad! I’m in awe of you completing a 100-chapter project like D2D (And yes, I know A2A is even longer…but I’ll let you keep it a secret re: exactly how long. 😉 , so I hope I can follow through as amazingly as you have. This is my first simlit, but I’m quickly learning what a big commitment it is!

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      3. It’s definitely a lot of work… but so much fun! 😀 My favorite hobby! 😛 (And yes, I will keep it a secret how long A2A is 😉 Don’t feel obligated to comment as you read, but also never feel afraid to either!)

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      4. I read all of D2D on my phone (I made a habit of reading chapters before bed!) so I never commented, but I really felt like I had to get back on my PC and leave a comment for the finale. 😉 I’m still getting used to the whole not being a lurker thing! But making comments on other people’s stories has led to some great friendships already.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Ahaha, welcome!! Byron is…very Byron. 😉 I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far! Some of the other characters definitely aren’t as endearing, but I hope they’re fun to read about anyhow.


    2. I like the audience of toys, too! Totally not that I’ve ever done that… It was a lecture, not jokes, anyway, so it doesn’t count… and doesn’t count that the toys slept through it…

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